Sun, 26 Oct 2025 05:34:44 GMT

[... ohhhhh.

yeah, this kinda sucks. this is a bad feeling to have. now he understands why people would always wake up so grumpy. almost. a little bit. maybe.

because, well, y'know. he let people wake up in nice comfortable beds, instead of just literally on the floor, like an animal. but he's definitely not judging. definitely not silently grading every factor of this kidnapping and comparing it unfavorably to how he always did it - and even if he was!

... not like he's wrong.

of course, he finds the snacks quickly, for what that's worth. which isn't much. he hasn't actually tried the coffee yet, because he's only been able to put a dozen sugar packets inside it so far, but the cookies? awful. he's had five so far.]

This is terrible. [or is it? better eat another. nope, still sucks. he shakes his head.] What an amateur operation...

[because, clearly, the main focus of a multidimensional kidnapper should be culinary. obviously. fucking mickey mouse operation.]

b. away team (tw: animal death and mutilation)

[he's seen this episode.

he's sure they're meant to be doing Something Editor-y about this scenario, but that sounds really boring and he doesn't want to, so he's not going to. let the heroic types do their thing; he's going to go make his own fun.

luckily, all the chaos means that one can pretty much just walk into whatever part of the ship they want, and he finds the sickbay all but abandoned. a futuristic society means that most of the more exciting toys have gone the way of the dodo, but he does find an interesting little scalpel that seems to use a laser rather than a blade, and that will just have to do.

and that is how he ends up in a circle of mutilated dheekis corpses. he has a selection of organs set out on a flayed skin in the vague order that he had found them while dissecting the creatures; he has burned an X into three organs so far. there is a living creature in his lap, stunned but twitching as he drives the laser into its side. then, he waits.

it spawns.

he sighs, tosses the dying creature into the pile, burns yet another X onto yet another organ, and takes the new one in hand, bringing a laser gun to the back of its head.]

(tl;dr: the Big Bad of a jamjar game developed An Emotion and kinda fucked up that sweet gig, now he's here.)

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The Captain